How to explain what you do for a living

• You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You walk up to her and say, “I’m great in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.
• You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You ask your friend to walk up to her and say, “See that guy over there? He’s great in bed.” That’s Advertising
• You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You get her phone number from someone. The next day you call and say, “I’m great in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.
• You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You comb your hair, straighten your tie, then ask if she’d like drink. You chat and joke with her throughout the evening, offer her a ride home, walk her to her door, then say, “By the way, I’m great in bed.” That’s Public Relations.
• You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. She walks up to you and says, “I know you. You’re the one who’s great in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

Panties with a Message

The funny side of making ads

Open Letter to ad agency executives

Dear Mr. XXXXX,
I wanted to say thank you for your pitch. The part in focus that I wanted to discuss was where you said “Google and search is not everything”.
I understand your viewpoint, and I would like to discuss this further. When you have a chance could you call my google voice number. I have that number forwarded to my Google Android powered cell phone … while on the topic, I loved the idea of the app you discussed. Just make sure it runs on my Droid.
When you send over the document, I will make the edits in Google docs and make sure to run the media plan you sent over though Google Ad planner to double check the suggestions.
Regarding the commercial you presented to us, I need to send that to a few people here for discussion. If you could upload that to Google owned Youtube that would be great, just make sure to limit who can see it.
Regarding the billboard placements, that was a wonderful idea. Send me the locations so I can check them on Google Maps via street view to make sure it’s where we want them.
I really liked the beta webdesign you showed us, can you make sure that it renders properly in Google Chrome? When designing the site, don’t do it all in flash and make sure that it has unique titles and metas. I want to make sure we rank organically for our terms in Google. I agree with you that Google Analytics is the right way to measure the traffic and ROI from the campaign.
Also the discussion we had regarding mentions of our company in the press? We do feel that Google Alerts would do the job for us regarding that. As of course the press releases you send out will be in Google News.
You know, the more I think about this, the more I feel that perhaps I don’t want your advertising agency running the campaign. Perhaps we should hire an SEO firm for this.
Best Regards,
XXXXXXX

Funniest Thing Ever

For the non-Arabic readers, that literally says “Microsoft launching “Google Wave” officially next year” :D

Words of Wisdom

TBWA getting aggressive with Saatchi

BEST Out of Office replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see 
who did this over and over and over….)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve

Professionals do not work for free. so why should I ?!!!

Fail advertising :::McDonalds

In 2006, McDonald’s in Japan created a promotion where customers were eligible to win their own McDonalds MP3 player. The fast food chain gave away about 10,000 of them before realizing that among the pre-programed songs that came on the MP3 player was a Trojan virus that stole user names and passwords when plugged into a computer. A recall was instituted and the campaign ended, but not before enraging thousands of Japanese.

Fail advertising :::LifeLock

CEO Todd Davis was so sure that his company, LifeLock, would be able to prevent identity theft, he published his social security number in ads all over the country. As was expected, no fewer than 25 attempted thefts on his identity occurred in the weeks that followed. A few of them even worked, and Davis lost money to a thief that was able to successfully secure a loan. Though Davis still swears by the LifeLock’s security, it’s safe to say the company never used the “I Dare You” tactic again.

Craig Ferguson: Advertising deifies youth...and stupidity

CMD Selection: Cream of CMD

CMDglobal is preparing for a complete transformation. Having spent four years building a fantastic repository of case studies, it is time to evolve. We have invested heavily in a next-generation online service, Cream, which will replace CMD next month.

Building on the repository of case studies we have from CMDglobal.com, the new site will also feature daily news and analysis, ‘How to…’ guides, expert opinion, reports and industry research.

In addition to this, Cream will have a dramatically enhanced search function, more video and community tools which allow for ease of sharing marketing insight. There will also be a number of exciting tools including the Creativity Index, which benchmarks agencies according to their creative output and a Competitor Tracker, which allows users to gauge the quality of media innovation and engagement within rival brands.

As CMD prepares to undergo a radical transformation, we look back at the database to find the best examples of media innovation, branding bravery, non-traditional employment of “traditional” media and how creativity can deliver great ROI.

All of these and much, much more will be housed in Cream, The Innovation Exchange.

Simple ideas

Media innovation doesn’t have to be high-tech

Kolestone (FREE)

Koleston Naturals hair colorant uses the sky to provide natural colour to a billboard cut-out, with beautiful results.

Think laterally about what you consider a media platform

Don’t drink and drive

Race horse changes name and racing strip to become a four-legged advertisement for a campaign against drink driving. The stunt benefits from racing page listings, commentator mentions and on screen listings.

Great insight can result in a very simple but effective execution

Northwest Airlines

Northwest Airlines reached high flyers in their offices by branding the inside of the window cleaning carts that are used to keep the glass spick and spam.

Turn the medium into the message

Axe

A peel away costume on the model on the cover of Soho magazine gave the target market a real feel for the Axe effect.

Technology-driven campaigns

Mobile money map

ING (FREE)

ING helps cash-seeking consumers track down their nearest ATM via there mobile camera viewfinder.

You don’t always have to be first, but it helps

Nike

Way before the iPhone was invented, Nike creates an enormous billboard “app” that allowed people to design their own shoe and then order it on their mobile.

Enhance engagement with a two-pronged attack

Orange

Orange targets consumers with personalized messages delivered simultaneously online and on their mobile.

Content wears the crown

Ensure value for consumers and brand with truly relevant content

Dove (FREE)

Dove finds a perfect content fit to take its 'Real Beauty' message to China with TV show Ugly Betty.

Create spreadable content and reap the rewards

Blentec

An entertaining viral demonstration leads to a 650% rise in sales for kitchen blender.

Bring a product to life through partnership

Simpsons Movie

7-Eleven employs reverse product placement in a promotion for The Simpsons Movie.

The big campaign ideas

Find a brand platform that transcends the product

Haagen-Dazs (FREE)

Haagen-Dazs raises awareness about the crucial role of bees in the creation of natural flavours and launches a campaign to combat the threat of Colony Collapse Disorder

Be the brand to bring people together

Pedigree

Don't walk your dog alone. Pedigree creates the date-a-dog website to allow walkers to link up across Germany.

Bring your brand to life through the line

Death Proof

After flopping in America, Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof achieved a strong opening weekend in Sweden thanks to a real-life ‘Death Proof’ taxi service.

Think big and create a cultural movement

BBC Worldwide Trust

A campaign to remove the stigma about condom usage in India gets people to say the word out loud.

Advertiser as service

Save consumers' time and effort

Cadbury Dairy Milk (FREE)

Cadbury provides a service that allows students to receive their exam results on their mobile, rather than having to go and look at public noticeboards.

Invest in providing services to cement a positioning

Philips

Philips promotes its Healthcare division by developing a queue ticketing system for Chinese hospitals that cuts hours off patient waiting times.

Stunts

Ensure your stunts truly communicate your brand message

Adidas (FREE)

High above the streets of Tokyo Adidas created a game of vertical football with two players and the ball attached to ropes to communicate “Impossible is Nothing”.

And finally, if in doubt, create an enormous phallus

Tulipan

For World Aids Day Tulipan covered the Obilisk in Buenos Aires in pink rubber. The promotion was publicised by local radio stations.

Miscellaneous

cool links to Ad History sites around the net.

• · www.advertisinghalloffame.org
• · The John W. Hartman Center for Sales, Advertising and Marketing History at Duke University has made more than 7,000 print advertisements from 1911-55 available at its Web site.
• · The University of Texas' Advertising World - the ultimate marketing communications directory.
• · the University of Illinois Advertising Exhibit
• · Advertising Age's 'The Advertising Century.'
• Some of the most important advertising in history
• · Advertising Archives
• An enjoyable collection of British advertising history
• · Advertising History – Promotional Products
• · Advertising Mascots
• · Emergence of advertising in America
• · Eisner Ad Museum
• This Milwaukee facility also has the materials from the original American Advertising museum
• · Fifty Years of Coca-Cola Television
• Great little site salting one of the first “world brands.”
• · Center for Advertising History
• · Medicine and Madison Avenue
• · Some Pretty Funny Vintage Ads

·

Marketing agencies/Client relationship

Did You Know?

Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?

Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?Did You Know?

Fantastic video on the progression of information technology, researched by Karl Fisch, Scott McLeod, and Jeff Brenman.

Misfortune brand names [Pee Cola]

Another product from Ghana, where they would have us eating Shitto and drink Pee. 

Misfortune brand names [Shitto]

This product from Ghana is “a gravy made from dried pepper, smoked dried fish, dried shrimp power, a variety of spices, ginger, onion, garlic, tomatoes and seasoning.” Since English is the official language of Ghana, it doesn’t seem like this can be chalked up to unfortunate happenstance.

Misfortune brand names [Sars- soft drink]

An Australian company called Golden Circle has long manufactured a caramel-flavored Sarsaparilla drink, the abbreviated product name of which is “Sars.” Believe it or not, when the SARS outbreak of 2003 hit, sales of Sars went up: its value as a novelty item apparently outweighed the negative associations.